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I read somewhere today that Yahoo! Inc. (NASDAQ:YHOO) Personals is the number one dating service on the Internet. They say it's lonely at the top, but apparently singles using the site have been successful in quelling their loneliness -- just when I was certain that that internet dating stuff was bogus ...Rivaled by Match.com, the Hoo's in Yahooville are working industriously to stay one step ahead of the game. They've recently added a new feature called "Quick View", which allows the user to scan for potential mates more quickly and efficiently. They are afforded the ability to mark off characteristics, (i.e., smoker, non-smoker) as "breaker" or "maker", this way any received profiles with 'breaker" traits will be labeled as such. And it's likely that the "breaker" will be discarded by the user - "Layta!". Sounds like a good deal, right? Quick, convenient, and it saves precious time. I don't think so. (Note: if you don't have the time to really get to know and evaluate a person, how will you have time for a relationship?)
First of all the whole idea of a first impression being based on a profile (a Quick View) -- mere words and check offs -- is whack. You can hardly trust people in person, let alone on paper.
I understand that internet dating helps to facilitate relationships for those lookin' for some lovin', but I don't think this system is completely reliable. Or realistic.
Aside from the untrustworthiness of the service, judging someone by their makers and breakers is moot. Take me, for example. I would check off preferences such as "non smoker" and "tidy/organized". My boyfriend smokes a pack a day and some days his place looks like windstorm whipped through it. But I'm dating him. Happily.
I would never have met him via Yahoo! Personals. He would have been labeled a "breaker" and I could have missed my potential soulmate.
Not to mention the attraction factor. It's visceral for human beings to be drawn to what's pleasing to the eye, despite any pre-existing, undisclosed quirks. If I behold beauty, I will want to get to know him better. No if, ands orbuts butts. Although I'd prefer a non-smoker, I'm not going to be attracted to a dude based on this trait -- "He doesn't smoke cigs -- what a hottie!" It doesn't work that way. Life doesn't work that way. We love people despite and sometimes because of their imperfections.
Clearly my biased opinion on internet dating influences the perspective I have on any enhancements made by these personals sites. I find that they enable a person to hide behind a computer, rather than actually socializing and confronting others in the flesh -- which takes courage, but hey, it's reality. I mean, it's one thing to use internet dating as a supplement to an already active social life, it's another to use it as your ONLY source of meeting a mate -- now THAT has an air of loneliness to it.
Aside from the untrustworthiness of the service, judging someone by their makers and breakers is moot. Take me, for example. I would check off preferences such as "non smoker" and "tidy/organized". My boyfriend smokes a pack a day and some days his place looks like windstorm whipped through it. But I'm dating him. Happily.
I would never have met him via Yahoo! Personals. He would have been labeled a "breaker" and I could have missed my potential soulmate.
Not to mention the attraction factor. It's visceral for human beings to be drawn to what's pleasing to the eye, despite any pre-existing, undisclosed quirks. If I behold beauty, I will want to get to know him better. No if, ands or
Clearly my biased opinion on internet dating influences the perspective I have on any enhancements made by these personals sites. I find that they enable a person to hide behind a computer, rather than actually socializing and confronting others in the flesh -- which takes courage, but hey, it's reality. I mean, it's one thing to use internet dating as a supplement to an already active social life, it's another to use it as your ONLY source of meeting a mate -- now THAT has an air of loneliness to it.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
12-21-2006 @ 6:01AM
GW said...
You're way harsh, girl. I, and thousands like me, are happily in a relationship started on an internet dating site. I could have frequented every bar and club in a 50 mile radius, or waited for friends or family to introduce us, and it would never have happened. We just were in different social circles, yet only a couple of miles apart. Unlike you, who only "prefer" a non-smoker, it would have been a breaker for me. I have no interest in someone whose clothes reek of tobacco (no matter how cute she is), and I know it. I also get turned off by nose rings and tongue piercings; okay for them, but not for me. Why waste their time or mine?
Computer matching isn't a substitute for one on one contact, but it's a great way to avoid the bar scene and very efficiently and effectively, locate a handful of interesting, attractive, literate, geographically desirable, at least partially compatible potential partners that are worth meeting and getting to know better. I not only got a wonderful soulmate out of online dating, I also got a few great new friends.
Just because it's not for you, doesn't mean that it's not a great way to meet people, have a good time with people you have a lot in common with, and maybe, just maybe, find a soulmate.
12-26-2006 @ 12:09AM
Nisha said...
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12-26-2006 @ 2:49PM
Jonathan Berr said...
As a gag, I wrote on my profile on AOL that my hobbies included "barfighting", "watching Jerry Springer" and "bowling." I was pretty disgusted with the whole dating seen where people told subtle lies to attract the opposite sex. I tried to tell a big whopper to see what would happen. Some women got the joke and others didn't. One day my future wife checked me out and wrote back excitedly when she noticed my hobbies included bowling. She is great at bowling, with one perfect 300 game to her credit. Unfortunately for me, that too was a boldfaced lie. She eventually forgave me and made me take lessons. The moral of the story is that sometimes it pays not believe everything you read on a dating Web site.
1-02-2007 @ 11:48AM
Blake said...
I think match.com is ahead of yahoo personals. It my perception that match.com has a greater number of personals at least for the United States. Also, now Dr. Phil is getting involved with Match.com, I think match.com would win the online date service poll.
See for yourself: http://todayspolls.googlepages.com/match_dating_poll